Make the music stop!

With two children, we have received our share of irritating toys – sharp toys that inevitably end up somewhere I can step on them (always in the dark); stuffed animals that begin playing late at night when I’m home alone and puzzles with multiple pieces that could become easily lodged in a curious child’s craw. But of all the toys we receive, the ones with lights and sound are invariably the toys I hate the most.

And, as any parent can attest, the more you dislike a toy, dress or lovey, the more convinced your children become that they can’t live without it.

The first toy that really got to me was a table that played music and sang each time Anders touched a button. It would also play at random – either set off by a slamming door, a vibrating floor or because it was bored – I never determined which. We often joked we were going to drop kick the table out the back door. Instead, when Anders’ attention turned to other things, like harassing the cat, we gave the table to a friend of ours.

When visiting a friend’s house recently I realized all of their “lighty” toys were dead. When our childrens’ focus had shifted from the potential noisemakers, my friend confessed he had removed all the batteries. See, I’m not the only one.

When Sophie turned one, the champion headache-inducing toy entered our home… The Disney Baby Princess Activity Ride from Kiddieland featuring “realistic engine and horn sounds, magical sounds and horsie whines, colorful piano keyboard and delightful melodies, shifting gears and revving sounds.” Delightful? Right.

From the moment I opened the package I knew we were in trouble. All of the kids at the party, including the 4 year olds, clambered to be the first to take a ride. Like the Pied Piper, I lifted the box over my head and led the children into the yard. I made each stand 5 feet away from me as I extracted the truck from the layers of plastic, tape and twine – can anyone tell me why this level of packaging is required? I don’t tie my kids into the car this securely! The car became such a source of conflict at the party that it had to be taken away – and Sophie never got to play with it!

These days, the vehicle is a permanent fixture in our living room. I’ve tried moving it into the basement, only for it to return within days, if not hours. And both Anders and Sophie love it. They love to play the music, hit the horn and make the princesses’ spin around.

The real problem is, unlike most of our other toys, it doesn’t have an off button! Were no parents involved in the design of this thing

For those who know me, you may be surprised by this … as much as I hate the toy and the sound of it makes me want to bury my head in the sand, I don’t have the heart to remove the batteries.

But I’m telling you, one of these days, it may end up in the rain.

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