In the great debate over whether parents are sending their kids to school sick, we always talk about parents who obviously send their kids in, even when they know they are carrying a virulent strain of the season’s plague. We accuse each other of putting work over kids and getting everyone sick. We talk about the availability of health care, day care and emergency care (I’m not trying to turn this into a political debate. Go visit Moms Rising for that).

But I have run into a dilemma that doesn’t fit comfortably into the categories of sick versus healthy. Work versus kids. I’ve met the “faker.”

The Faker reared his theatrical head this morning when my 4-year old son told us his tummy hurt and he couldn’t go to school. He whined, he moaned, he grasped his middle. He told his father “sick kids don’t go to school” and promised he would be quiet.

He also giggled, played, wolfed down a bowl of Captain Crunch cereal (I know he should be eating something better – don’t judge me) before running after his sister.

This is not the Faker’s first appearance at our house. The first time he arrived, almost two months ago, he told Steve that he was tired and his tummy hurt. (Note he told his daddy these things – mommy is much more skeptical and tends to ignore him unless he’s burning with fever or bleeding freely from the ears). Steve decided to keep him home, and I decided to let him make that decision.

The best lessons are always the hardest. Steve called me several hours later to tell me that Anders was not only feeling fine, but that he was driving him CRAZY. And, that on no uncertain terms, would Steve be falling for that trick again.

Excuse me while I take a moment to pat myself on the back.

Seriously though, what is a parent to do? If I send him to school and it turns out that he is sick, I look like the asshole that ignored her kid. If I don’t send him to school and it turns out he is fine he learns a wonderful lesson about the power of a good whine, and my husband doesn’t get anything done because Anders will get bored and demand his attention.

So, let’s cut some parents a little slack. Or at least try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, just maybe, little Billy or Dolly went to school today because mom thought the Faker had arrived, only to find out later that it was the plague.