As I sat at the dinner table last night, learning the finer points of gracious dining, a little voice in my head kept repeating… Behave yourself. Behave yourself. Behave yourself.

I was not at the table alone. In fact, I was seated with four young women, graduating seniors from my alma mater, who were participating in a series of events designed to prepare them for the real world. I had volunteered to participate in two of three of the sessions – this evening was a mock networking event where students could meet with ‘real’ business people, and next week I will be conducting mock interviews.

So I had to behave – not only was I one of the real business people (so I couldn’t act like a complete goofball), I actually wanted to try to be a good role model for the students I was sitting with. Oh, and since I had just recently reconnected with my college, I didn’t want the organizers to regret inviting me.

But it was too easy. Each statement by our hostess, a perfectly coiffed southern lady named Winston, threatened to trigger a Chandler-type reaction that could have resulted in a flurry of wisecracks and “clever” asides. Seriously, how can one be expected to keep a straight face when your hostess is describing the etiquette debate that is raging over whether or not you can move your plate after it has been placed on the table (according to Winston we are allowed “one turn per plate” or to move the plate for “safety’s sake”).

Before we sat down for dinner Winston had taken our group through several exercises to teach the students how to shake hands (we all agreed that the worst handshakes are too weak, too strong, too wet or too wimpy. I contributed “too wet.”); how to stand (straight with feet slightly apart); how to hold your drink (left hand, in a glass not a bottle); and how to wear your name tag (on your right shoulder). Turns out I don’t know how to do any of these things properly.

During dinner the learning continued…. How to pass the bread or the salt and pepper; how to tell someone they have something stuck in their teeth; how to sit (again, I do this incorrectly), even how to cut your food (American style or Continental – but never both)…. I also had time to speak with the students at my table, and was really impressed. They were articulate, fun and intelligent and had pretty clear ideas about what they wanted to do after graduation – unlike yours truly who worked at summer camp and the Natick Mall after graduating.

Watching the students give their newly learned dining skills a try, I couldn’t help but think that maybe this wasn’t as funny as I first thought. Okay, okay, it really was as funny as I thought (I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to live with an etiquette expert), but I also wished that I had been able to take a class like this when I was senior. There is no question that good manners are universal, and having a basic knowledge of what to do, or not to do, at the dining table or in a networking situation, could easily have removed at least some of the anxiety I felt when attending my first post-graduation networking event

And, as it turns out, one shouldn’t assume that because they’ve eaten out or attended business events in the past, that they couldn’t do without a refresher. I certainly learned a couple of things last night – including how to stand and hold my water.

Want to learn more about “proper manners” or the event I attended last night? Check out the Mannersmith web site – you can request a free tip card (which includes a good chart on the back for bellhops, cabbies, etc) or get advice on your “Etiquette Emergencies.”

Yes, I’m serious. Would I make this stuff up? Of course not – that probably wouldn’t be polite.