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For the rest of us, life still goes on
 Monday, July 16, 2007

Last week, my family gathered for a private graveside ceremony, as my eldest sister Tammy was laid to rest. She was 43. Her death was a complete shock for all of us and was especially difficult for the three people closest to her: her 22-year-old daughter Jessica, my sister Robin, and of course, my mom.

It's been nearly seven days since we all wept at the cemetery. Once everything was over, and my parents planned their return to Florida, my husband and I decided to finish out our vacation week on the Cape with the kids as originally planned. Now that I am back home, with mountains of dirty laundry, sandy beach towels to wash, and hundreds of business-related emails to answer, I recognize that life for the rest of us goes on as usual. Even if we are not the same.

My two sisters and parents have all returned to their workplaces. For my mom, it's her first day back and I am sure it is proving to be a challenging day. She'll likely be greeted with sad faces of friends and colleagues who undoubtedly will ask, "How are you doing?" No matter how old you are, you never expect to out-live your children.

Some events in life are just too tragic for words. In planning her burial, none of us felt we could really talk. Jessica read a beautiful poem. I asked that we play a song that always reminded me of Tammy.Time for Me to Fly by REO Speedwagon. It was her high school graduation song back in 1983 and she played it constantly upstairs on her record player.

Time for me to fly
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that's just how its got to be
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it's time for me to fly.....

Sister, rest in peace.

by Erin * Comments (6) * Link to this entry

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Comments

Erin,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. What a deep tragedy for you and your family.

In January, we lost my stepmother when she was 44 (unexpectedly). My half-sister, who is 14 and I am now raising, is devastated by this loss. It is always difficult to lose someone, but when your life changes dramatically without you having a glimpse of what it can be like, it makes it so much harder.

Your right, life doesn't stop. It's almost like there is one more thing atop of the already 120 things you have. What's difficult is that grief cannot be crossed off a to-do list.

I am thinking about you and your family. My email is listed above if you wanna chat (I am the Twin Cities Working Moms Group, brandt.angela@gmail.com).

Keep being an inspiration to the manic mommies out there and tell crazy Kristin I said Hi,

Angie Brandt

Posted by: Angie [TypeKey Profile Page] | July 16, 2007 01:52 PM

Erin, I am so sorry for your loss. The song is a perfect tribute.

Posted by: Barbara [TypeKey Profile Page] | July 16, 2007 02:14 PM

Erin, there's nothing I can write here to ease your family's pain. But please know that you've become a friend to many manic mommies out there so have comfort knowing you are in our thoughts!

Posted by: amaras_mom [TypeKey Profile Page] | July 16, 2007 04:56 PM

Hi Erin,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Some things in life ...we'll never understand why they happen. This just puts more emphasis for me to appreciate my loved ones more. Sometimes life makes me so impatient and frustrated and I can sometimes take that out on my loved ones, but we never know when that will be the last time we could see that person. I pray for peace for your family.

Posted by: Yolanda [TypeKey Profile Page] | July 17, 2007 07:13 AM

Erin,
I just want to let you know that I am sorry for your loss.

Posted by: sgthomas1973 [TypeKey Profile Page] | July 17, 2007 12:18 PM

Erin,

I LOVE the Manic Mommies Podcast. You and Kristen are such an inspiration and I always have a good laugh listening to you girls. I've never left a comment but I felt compelled to do so today... I am truly sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Big Hugs to you~

Posted by: kgirlgarcia [TypeKey Profile Page] | July 24, 2007 12:48 PM

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