Less than two weeks since starting Kindergarten, and we’ve already received information about the fall fund raiser. Actually, we’ve received a packet with a catalog and several flyers outlining prizes and other incentives; another flyer two days later designed (I assume) to inspire us in our sales efforts, and today, another flyer outlining all the fabulous prizes that will be awarded if your school reaches it’s goal (your guess is as good as mine is as to what our goal is) and what the child with the highest sales will win for each school.

Obviously, as a parent with a child in the public school system, I am aware of how important these activities are to raise funds for additional activities and supplies. That doesn’t however mean that I don’t have problems with the fundraising system.

First, let’s talk about the sales incentives, I mean, prizes. For our school the prize for the child with the highest sales will be a portable DVD player. Considering that the only grade in our school is preschool and kindergarten, I think we should say it like it is – the prize for the parent who does the most selling is going to be a portable DVD player.

On all of the communications it says, in smaller print, “Remember, please only sell to people you or your parents or guardians know, never approach strangers.” This is good advice. But most of the people we know are classmates of Anders, and as such, are selling the same exact thing as we are. I’m not sure if our neighbors with older children are also selling the same thing, but I’m sure they are selling SOMETHING, and they don’t want me knocking on their door! And, because I’m never around (or they aren’t) I don’t know my other neighbors, and I’m not sure selling paper products is the best way to introduce myself (“Hi! I know we’ve lived here 4 years and have never introduced ourselves, but would you like to buy some wrapping paper.”)

We could hit up our coworkers, but since Steve works with just one other person, and my office has 9 other employees, I’m not sure that’s going to be a very deep well of potential income for the PTO. Plus, I hate to ask my co-workers because, let’s face it, someday they’ll have kids and I’ll have to pay up.

When I was kid I remember my mother never wanted me to sell items for the school fundraiser door-to-door. I’m not sure if it was because of “stranger danger,” because she thought it was unseemly or because, as a working mom she thought it was just a gigantic pain in the butt. Rather, she would order a couple of items her self, and we’d call it a day. And yes, I was never in the running for most items sold. Not even close. At Halloween when our church gave out Unicef boxes to fill with change, she would dump all her spare change into each carton and staple them shut, rather than allow us to beg for spare change while trick or treating.

I’ve always assumed that I would do the same thing for my kids – help them reach out to relatives (again, there just aren’t that many) and buy a few items for myself. Bit I didn’t anticipate one thing… I might not like what we are selling. This year, the PTO selected Sally Foster Gift Wrap. Flipping through the catalog I was presented with page after page of very tasteful, crap. The gift wrap is pretty, but I usually prefer to buy my paper at the Dollar Store ($7 for a role of gift wrap! That’s my entire gift wrapping budget for the holidays!) and the other stuff is, well, just that, stuff. Items under categories such as “Home Décor,” “Bath and Body,” and “Tasteful Temptations” are just things I’m going to have to dust!

Admittedly, there probably isn’t much that I would be interested in buying – I already receive more magazines than I have time to read; I don’t have room in my freezer for any of the frozen specialty foods, and I’m not interested in purchasing a couple of boxes of candy bars.

I’m also a little suspicious of the groups that sell this stuff – if an organization like Sally Foster can give 50% of all purchases to my school, how much are they making? Am I simply buying the same $1 roll of wrapping paper I could get at Christmas Tree Shop, just marked up by a ridiculous amount?

I don’t have any great ideas for a better system, nor do I have time to organize anything – but instead of spending $50 on wrapping paper and other items I don’t need, or busting my butt to sell $50 worth of garbage no one else needs, maybe I could just write a check for $25 and be done with it? We’d save time, money, paper and avoid the competition, angst and guilt.

Now if someone could Just tell me where to send my check.