For weeks, the kids and I have been counting down the days until we leave the frigid cold of Greater Boston and head south for our Disney Cruise (courtesy of Nana). I am so looking forward to sunning myself in the Western Caribbean, but here's something I am not looking forward to: putting a bathing suit on this lily white, post-Christmas body.

Yesterday, the new bathing suit I ordered from J.Crew arrived. I used to buy J. Crew suits back in the day—BC, when I would pick a new one every year. But since having children, I have opted to buy my suits at Target, where I could hide the purchase from my husband amidst the Huggies, wipes, and laundry detergent. It's not that I can't buy myself things, it's just with so many necessities, spending $80 on a bathing suit seemed a little excessive. With diapers now a thing of the past, I feel it's OK to indulge every now and then.

And what better reason for a new suit than a cruise?

So yesterday after work I ripped open my J.Crew box, hid upstairs in my bathroom and tried it on. It's two pieces: a small top and a medium bottom. Being the pear that I am, this usually works out OK. But this time, my medium bottoms felt, well...too small! From the front it looked OK, but when I turned around and looked at the back—OH NO—it was not pretty. Not only was my butt hanging out of the bottom—a given for any suit I buy—but my back was hanging out of the top!

Where does back flab come from? It wasn't here last summer and I have been exercising more since then! Well, maybe not with any kind of regularity or vigor, but I am going to the gym at least two times a week. Is that not enough?

Later, on the drive to book club with my girlfriends (who have known me since BC and have spent several summers on the beach with me), I asked, "Ladies, where does this flab come from? I can't understand it! How do you get flab on your back?"

And in a completely reassuring tone, one said, "I think what you are referring to is affectionately called the muffin top."

Then the other said, "Certainly, the elastic was just too tight on that suit."

What no one wanted to say was I probably should have elected the one-piece mom suit. Looks like my days of wearing J.Crew to the beach just might be over.