Recently, a friend and I were talking about the pressure to be “a perfect mom” and how, because of a run in with a well-meaning mommy, she was feeling anything but. Perfect that is.

My initial reaction was to recommend she tell the well-meaning mommy to take her advice on parenting and “go shit in her hat” (an old favorite expression I picked up from my father). Then, I told her my real advice, embrace her newfound status as a mediocre mommy, because here’s something no one wants to admit…

Being a mediocre mommy is way more fun.

When you are a mediocre mommy, people don’t have very high expectations of your or your kids. Gone is the pressure to teach your kids manners, comb their hair or make them wear shoes. Your house doesn’t have to be perfectly clean, because a mediocre mommy doesn’t bother with domestic duties such as vacuuming, washing the floor or folding your laundry. And no one is surprised when you miss a t-ball practice, arrive at the last minute to a school assembly, or never volunteer to help out in the classroom.

With the mom-bar set so low, you have nowhere to go but up. So when you do pull it together to make a batch of Rice Crispie Treats, take your kids out for a day of bicycle riding and Dairy Queen, or organize the perfect birthday party for your daughter, everyone is happy because no one takes these activities for granted. And you can only imagine your husband’s reaction when you actually clean your house and make dinner – that doesn’t involve pre-packed items or breakfast cereal – for the family.

Speaking of reactions – I think that may be the best part of being a mediocre mommy. Watching the reactions of Super Mommies who cross our paths. They cringe when my kids pick up, and eat, the chocolate chip cookie that they dropped in the playground 5 minutes before. I’m sure their fingers twitch to wipe the dirt off my daughter’s cheek or to fix my son's t-shirt (which is on backwards and inside out). And they struggle to keep themselves from dragging the kids out of the jump seat in my station wagon.

Of course you know the truth, don’t you?

It’s not that I didn’t want to be the perfect mom – I’ve just accepted that perfection in motherhood, like in anything, is impossible. Okay, okay. Most of the time, I’ve accepted that I can’t be the perfect mom. But every now and then the cringes, stares and criticisms do hit a little close, and I wonder if I can do better.

Then, I look at my kids.

My kids may not be as clean as others, but they are bug-free and healthy. They might eat an inordinate of breakfast cereal, or pancakes, for dinner, but they are well-nourished and well-fed. They are outgoing, independent and creative. They know how to find their own breakfast and keep themselves amused. And they are, for the most part, polite. But most important, they know they are loved.

So I let the world think I'm a mediocre mommy. And if anyone has something to say about it?

Go shit in your hat.