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H is for...
 Tuesday, May 13, 2008

It is 4:55 pm and I should be a work. I should have been there all afternoon, working on client projects, preparing for a presentation next week, drinking a cup of hot chocolate (my version of an afternoon delight) and contemplating how I’m going to scoop Sophie up from school before going to Anders’ t-ball game.

In a few minutes I should be in the car, driving to daycare with the windows open, enjoying the beautiful spring weather. In 30+ minutes I should be sitting on the sidelines of my son’s t-ball game, comfortable in the chair I actually remembered to throw into the back of my car, with Sophie at my side in the chair I remembered to bring for her also.

I should not be where I am, which is in my bed, watching a backlog of shows on my TiVo and nursing my injured… butt.

As many a mom knows, but few talk about, there is one very unfortunate side effect of childbirth. Hemorrhoids. Looking around the world, I wonder how many women have hemorrhoids as a result of pregnancy and childbirth. For many moms, their hemorrhoids may not flare up again for many years – if at all.

For me, my ‘roids flare up a couple of times a year, usually when I’m stressed.

Nice, huh? Some people smoke, others gain weight, and still others drink or take drugs when they are stressed out. Me? I’m forced to lie in bed with a pack of ice on my tush waiting for the swelling to go down.

It’s so humiliating. How do you tell your co-workers and your boss (aka dad) that you have to leave early because you can’t stand to sit any more? That you are so distracted by the pain in your ass – literal, not figurative – that you need to go lie down at home? That you would like to work from home, but don’t know how effective you will be lying in bed with your butt elevated.

And horrifying. No one wants to talk about his or her butt. No one should have to talk about his or her butt. In fact, I prefer not to think of most people as even having butts. Except for my kids – they have very cute, hemorrhoid-free tushies.

So H is for humiliating. Horrifying. Preparation H (my new best friend). Hemorrhoids (a word I can't seem to spell correctly without my spell checker). And House – the television show I’m currently watching.

I wonder what he would do to treat a case like mine.

by Kristin * Comments (6) * Link to this entry

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Comments

Bless your heart Kristin....My husband who has never given birth( ok, that sounds silly), has had to have surgery on his. Stress be damned, male or female I think that stress makes these hideous things worse. Feel better!

Posted by: KbRadcliffe [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 13, 2008 06:09 PM

Eeew! I've been reading up on the surgical options (as I lay here in bed). What did he have done? Did it work?

Posted by: Kristin - Manic Mommies [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 14, 2008 07:06 AM

I'll send you an email with the full story, but I recall it involved rubber band like things to basically make them come off. Yes, it worked, to an extent, but he still has flare ups and had to have his colon checked to make sure he didn't have any problems heading up that way. We still have to keep PrepH in the cabinet!

Posted by: KbRadcliffe [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 14, 2008 08:08 AM

I totally hear you. Mine flare up right before AF every month. Isn't that lovely? As if AF wasn't enough of a pain in the ass, mother nature had to give me a literal one to go along with her. Blech!

May your butt heal quickly!

Oh! Also, my MIL had to have hemorrhoid surgery while she was in the middle of chemo! Talk about adding insult to injury.

I think that that should just be an area of our bodies that should just work. We shouldn't have to deal with things like hemmorhoids! Butt-holes are grody enough without that added mess!

Posted by: mouse269 [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 14, 2008 01:19 PM

Oh you poor thing! I only had them when pregnant, and not had them since. I better freaking not get them either!!!! But, yeah, I feel really bad for you. Sorry you are the butt of the joke.

Posted by: Erica [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 20, 2008 02:53 PM

I only developed a tiny roid after giving birth to an almost 9 lb baby in 04. The nurses brought in students to see it and compare it with other woman who had just delivered, since it was unusual to deliver such a big baby with so few problems. 9.5 months later that baby got pnemonia and went on antibiotics, he got thrush then gave me a yeast infection. That gave me nursing problems that led to Mastitis which led to my own horse pill antibiotics with led to 2.5 years of "issues" including roids. It was horrible. I had so much pain and discomfort, but I always kept going.
Last January, I had a girls weekend at the Beach and drank and partied a lot. I came home with a really bad issue. I took baths, used every medicine in the cupboard and I don't know what happened but after that I was cured. It was like one of the Biblical miracles. I have not had a problem since.
Hoping for one of those miracle cures for you too!

Posted by: michellewaite1 [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 20, 2008 09:08 PM

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