This is me showing off my deep fried Twinkie. The thing to note is not my expression, or even the hot pink parasol, but the t-shirt I'm wearing. It is my "Cleans like a mother" t-shirt which I received when the folks from Method were visiting Boston.

I love this t-shirt and I wear it all the time. And here's the funny thing – people think it's hilarious. I'm not sure they even know what it means, or who it is for, but it always gets a comment.

And I always reply "the irony is that I don't actually clean."

I'm not saying whether I'm for, or against, Sarah Palin. I'm just saying this video is wicked funny. Samantha Bee (my gynecological twin) cracks me up.

This is the footer from an e-mail that I received today.

I have seen this type of message before (the other one is "Please think before you print this e-mail" or something equally stupid).

Ironically I usually don't see these messages until after I've printed it. And all I have to say to these well-meaning individuals is . . . it's my e-mail and I'll print it if I want to.

Don't like it? Then pick up the phone.

This morning my daughter was wearing an adorable outfit - sherbert colored skort with a blue-green sweater and a pair of mary janes. As she skipped out the door I said...

"Sweetie! You look so cute today!"

Sophie (with the eye-roll and attitude of a girl three times her age): "I don't look cute. Do you see any sparkles??"

"Why do you need sparkles? I see a beautiful girl wearing an adorable outfit."

Sophie (with the look of a girl thinking "could you be more clueless"?): "I am not beautiful!"

"You aren't?"

Sophie: "No! Do you SEE a princess dress?"

If I didn't think this was so funny I might actually be worried.

My husband and kids are visiting friends on Cape Cod for the day, and I am not. Instead, I am doing something that I don't think I have done since we moved into our home over 5 years ago – I'm spending the day, alone, in my house.

I don't have big plans, other than to rest (I'm fighting "something" that makes me feel under the weather but hasn't developed into anything – annoying) and get all the things done that would otherwise be hanging over my head.

In the last four hours I have...
- Cleaned out Sophie's closet and pulled some old furniture out to the curb.
- Put together a HUGE bag of clothes and shoes for Goodwill.
- Cleaned out our front closets (adding 20 baseball hats to the Goodwill bag).
- Changed the sheets on our bed and dug out a clean quilt so I can wash our comforter.
- Started and completed a couple of loads of laundry (I've folded but haven't put away).
- Showered.

Now I'm listening to voice mails from listeners (I love you gals!!) and preparing to mix this week's show, before I turn my attention to returning e-mails and some "real" work. I'm hoping to get it all done before the family is back.

The day I'm having probably doesn't sound relaxing to anyone but me.

What is craziest about today is that I'm alone. Because my husband works from our home, even when the kids are in school the house is never empty. Until today. It's so quiet.

And I'm so happy.

My son is wise in the way of Star Wars. He owns three light sabers (two "official" versions and one cheap knock off that lights up). And he's happy to tell you the difference between the droids from the Lego set he received for Christmas and the one he received for his birthday.

He, obviously, likes to create Star Wars-based scenarios with his sister, who generally is a bad guy or droid (but never a princess which is what she really wants to be). Most of the times the play is fairly peaceful, but every now and then you have to yell . . .

"Anders! Stop using the Force to choke your sister!"

For those of us in marketing and advertising, this video hits a little too close to home. Sooo funny!

http://view.break.com/542649 - Watch more free videos

It occurs to me that since I posted a "Notes from our vacation - Part 1" that our readers may assume that there would be a Part 2. Of course those who really know me that it's also possible that Part 2 would never materialize.

Here are some of the things we discovered on our trip...

You can find ANYTHING at the Flea Market, including cool furniture, old school video games, and some of the ugliest artwork I've ever see:

You can also find a deep fried Twinkie which, I must say, is the most decadent thing I have ever tried. You can't tell, but I'm holding one in this picture:

When given the option, dinner by the pool is one of summer vacation's greatest luxuries. After a long day in the car the kids can run wild, swim, and not drive their parents crazy while waiting for dinner. And, if you are lucky, you can also buy beer.

Sometimes you need to resort to letting the kids play video games or watch a DVD while at the table, even if you swore you never, never, never would allow such behavior.

Unpacking when you get home... sucks. Everything is dirty and a little damp. There are crumbs everywhere, including in the car, and everyone is exhausted.

Other things we learned:
- If the car doesn't have leather seats, invest in a plastic shower curtain to line the back seats. The kids will spill, or crush, something which will stain the seats if they aren't lined. I know it sounds very un-Kristin-like to give this kind of advice, but trust me. You will thank me later.

- Bring wipes for cleaning up - But forget the baby wipes because most smell like a clean baby's bum. Instead, pick up a couple packs of the Method all purpose wipes. I bought the pink grapefruit and they kept the car smelling sweet!

- Lock yourself in - As everyone knows, my daughter is a runner. While at the hotel she figured out how to open our door, allowing her to run into the hallway - twice. To prevent escapes while we were sleeping, my husband bought a cable clamp to keep the security bar closed. It was very easy to open and close, and let me sleep soundly.

- Take a few days to yourself - Today the kids are at camp and my husband is back at work. Which allows me to hang out with . . . me! I'm catching up on e-mails, cleaning, doing laundry and generally enjoying the peace and quiet.

Guess I should enjoy it while it lasts. Real life starts again on Monday.

Having just posted my review of the Amazon Kindle over at Real Simple, I thought I'd post a list of the book that I cruised through on my vacation. As you will notice, my reading followed a very specific theme - see if you can figure it out.

My first download was "You Suck" by Christopher Moore. It is a sequel to another book I enjoyed, Bloodsucking Fiends.

Then, I downloaded Twilight, the first book in the very popular Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. Not really sure how I found out about the series, but I found the first book very enjoyable so I quickly downloaded and read the next two books, New Moon and Eclipse.

Once I finished Eclipse, I started researching the series and realized that rabid fans were anxiously awaiting the release of the final book of the series, Breaking Dawn, which was scheduled for the next day! Talk about great timing. While I waited for the Kindle version, which was released one day after the print version, I downloaded a free copy of Spirit House: A Vincent Calvino Crime Novel. It was enjoyable but definitely didn't fit into my vacation theme, so I didn't finish it.

After downloading all the Twilight books, Amazon then started throwing recommendations at me with a similar flavor. Based on those recommendations I downloaded Undead and Unwed, a light and amusing read by MaryJanice Davidson. During the drive home from North Carolina I then read the sequels Undead and Unemployed and Undead and Unappreciated.

This is also the time I started to worry about how many books I had purchased during my trip - darn Kindle making it so easy to buy a book by just clicking a button! (The grand total for all this reading - $49.49 not counting the Kindle. Not too bad).

Fortunately for me, but unfortunately for my credit card, I have another road trip planned for this weekend. I want to try to read more (if not all) of the Undead series before I have to return the Kindle to Amazon on Monday.

Have I mentioned how much I love vacation?

Today I had the pleasure of meeting up with a couple of listeners, and members of the Triangle Moms network. We had a delicious lunch and so much fun chatting about kids, jobs, cars and Lindsay Lohan.

Pictured from left to right: Alane, Meg (my sister-in-law), Tiffany, me, Lisa and Kim.

Thanks gals from coming out to play!

So the question of the day seems to be . . . how did we fit everything we needed for our summer vacation into our new Prius. The answer – it was easier than I thought.

Here is all the stuff we had to bring:

Here's what the back of our car looked like when we left. What you can't see is that we also had stashed over 10 pairs of shoes, two bicycle helmets and a Razor scooter in the storage area under the floor (but above the spare tire):

The back seat was a little tight because we made the kids sit with two backpacks full of books, colored pencils (nothing that could melt in the southern heat) and toys; as well as two DVD players; a cooler filled with snacks and video games. (It helps that the kids have short legs so you can put stuff on the floor, where average size people would put their feet).

Obviously, we didn't do anything new by traveling in a small car. When she was a kid, my mom and her family (mom, dad and 5 kids) drove from Boston to Indiana in a convertible. But as you can see from Sophie's reaction, we didn't just survive, we enjoyed our trip!

Of course we're only half-way through the trip - we still need to make it home.

According to my favorite anchor, Charles Gibson (he will always be Charlie to me), Americans drove 10 BILLION fewer miles in May 2008 than in May 2007. This strikes me as highly ironic as my family and I prepare to embark on our summer road trip to North Carolina.

We are leaving tomorrow morning, at the crack of my bum, with the goal of driving from Ashland, Massachusetts to Williamsburg Virginia. For those of you who are counting that is a 10+ hour trip of over 580 miles, not counting stops for meals and potty breaks.

Did I mention we are doing this in one day?

We're not completely bucking the trend towards fewer miles or great fuel conservation. Last year we completed this trip driving our Mazda MPV, a fairly spacious minivan which gave us plenty of room to spread out, but also burned through gas at 22 miles per gallon. This year we're driving my new Toyota Prius which averages over 50 MPG, but also keeps the kids close enough to actually touch each other.

Want to know how it goes? (I get it, my pain is my readers'/listeners'/friends' joy). Just watch this space, or follow us on Twitter.

Wish me luck.

Manic Mommies Erin & Kristin will be joined by “crazy busy” moms from around the country on a 3-day Carnival Cruise from Miami to the Bahamas. We will be traveling on the newly restored Carnival Imagination, complete with two whirlpools, a resort style main pool, adult-only Serenity Pool and full service spa.

Space is limited - Click here to register online!

This year, we have built a schedule with just the right balance of organized activities and free time for guests.

Yoga or fitness walk
Guests can start the day with a Yoga class or fitness walk with other attendees.

Do your own thing!
For over 5 hours each day, our guests will be able to choose their own activities. Take a walk, read a book, go to the spa, meet new friends, explore – it’s entirely up to them (which for many moms is the greatest luxury of all).

Quinny Test Drive
On Friday, guests will have an opportunity to test drive the super-cute Quinny Zapp stroller. After the test drive, guests will be entered into a drawing to win one of two Zapp strollers to take home!

Mom U. - Sponsored by Saturn
Sunday afternoon, our guests will have the opportunity to interact in an informal setting with experts on a variety of topics .

Our Corporate Sponsors
A big thanks to our corporate sponsors:

Sponsorship opportunities available
Interested in participating in Escape '08? We have a number of opportunities, starting at as little as $75! Contact Kristin for information.

I'm sitting here in my office, desperately trying to get my work done before my two week vacation starts on Monday (yeah). It should be the perfect day to be at work – it's raining and gross out, I have no meetings and a clear list of what I need to do today. I should be a machine. Productive, productive, productive.

Unfortunately, each time the rain restarts, I find my mind wandering towards . . . my kids.

We all know how unusual this is for me. When the kids are at school and I'm at work, I'm pretty good at staying focused. But today is different because my kids are at camp. Outside. In the rain. At camp.

If you haven't attended camp (day or overnight), you can't understand the misery that is a rainy day at camp. Everything is wet – clothes, seats, feet, shoes, heads, food, backpacks. With nearly 600 kids at camp, there are no buildings big enough to accommodate everyone, so I'm sure the kids are huddled together, protected only by the clothing they brought with them and the roof over their heads (no walls of course - these are open pavilions).

When I was at overnight camp I loved rainy days because they generally meant a break in the schedule. An opportunity to watch a movie in the mess hall or spend the day weaving friendship bracelets at Arts & Crafts. But after a couple of days even that can get old. But it's different at day camp. They really have no place to put these kids.

Any other day I would have kept the kids home. But with only two days before our two week vacation, I didn't have much of choice.

Not that that makes me feel any better as I look out at the downpour. Maybe I'll just run over to get the kids...

I feel like our web site is an ongoing work in progress. Getting the design right. Incorporating widgets and javascripts. Make sure the links work and the template is applied properly to each page. Activating the archives. And, most recently, getting the comments to work properly (can someone explain to me how the junk e-mails keep getting through, while our friends' comments get lost in the ether??).

Tonight I've been trying to unravel the programming that makes up ManicMommies.com. I've been semi-successful - you can now read our older posts (Kristin. Erin.) without jumping through many hoops. Unfortunately, the comments are still broken. Wah.

And now, my brain hurts and I'm going to bed.

Dear Anders,

Happy Birthday!

I know how happy you are to finally tell the world that you are a big boy of 6 years old. But I can’t help but feel a little dizzy by the idea that it has already been 6 years old since you came into our lives. I swear it was just yesterday that you (all of 2 weeks old) and I were huddled in the one air-conditioned room of our home, trying to stay cool during 100+ degree summer days.

Your birth, like the years that have followed, was easy with moments of fear and anxiety thrown in to keep us from getting too comfortable. The drugs that were designed to get you moving out of my belly caused your heart to beat too fast and your blood pressure to drop. When the drugs were stopped, your heartbeat returned to normal.

You were going to come out when you were good and ready, and not one moment sooner.

That pattern has repeated itself many times as we’ve watched you grow and explore. Walking, talking, potty training, training wheels – these things would be accomplished, but on your timetable. And when your father and I are feeling smart, we understand that it is our job to let you follow that schedule, and not push you along.

It turns out that you also spoiled us. You are adventurous, but not too much, letting us get away without childproofing our home. You are sweet and snuggly, preferring to get along rather than rail against our wishes. I have since learned, with the help of your younger sister, that not all kids are as happy-go-lucky as my big boy.

(I do worry you are a little too agreeable, a little too easy to push around. As with your father, girls – and their wishes – seem to be your weakness, and I fear that with their instruction you could end up in a lot of trouble.)

As you grow, I hope you will continue to find joy in the people and places you discover. Try new things, make new discoveries, explore new places – but follow your own schedule – and know that your father and I will always be watching (or cringing) ready to help you get back on your feet.

But do me one favor – don’t grow up too fast. I’m not ready to give up my little boy to the big world.

I will love you forever and a day,

Mommy

I am sitting here, exhausted, after organizing and hosting a pirate-theme pool party for my 6 year old son's birthday. As all moms know, a good party doesn't come together at the last minute. They take at least a day or two of planning. For this party, the preparations truly started last weekend when I spent a couple grey, muggy days making this pirate pinata.

Seriously! I actually made this myself! (Did you know papier-mâché paste doesn't have any glue in it? Neither did I until I used this recipe from Family Fun).

Pirate props came from the dollar store and iParty – and yes, I gave each of the kids a sword. And no one got stabbed or lost an eye!

I made the cake last night (I was going to go with store bought, but Anders asked me to make the cake), and decorated it this morning (after a last minute run to the grocery store to buy decorating supplies).

So the party went well. The kids had fun. No one drowned in the pool. The pinata survived long enough to let everyone whack it, then fell apart on demand.

All that is left now is the thank you notes. Which I've asked my husband to deal with. I'm going to bed.

As I posted previously, my friend Michele and I headed into Boston for a screening of The Closer's season premiere. The event, which included a most random assortment of people (including a lady who, I swear, was wearing a housecoat a slippers), was held at an eating and dining establishment in Boston's Quincy Market.

At the event was also actor Tony Flynn who plays Detective Flynn in the series (and who, Michele and I agree, is way more attractive in person).

Unfortunately, the screening was a held in a room with terrible acoustics, which gave me a terrible headache. So, I didn't get a chance to watch the entire show or meet Mr. Flynn (although I did shake his hand on the way out). I did get enough of a peek to remind me why I love the show – can't wait for it to premiere on Monday!!!

Do you watch The Closer on TNT? I love this cop show starring Kyra Sedgwick (although I'm not sure "cop show" does the show justice). I also love that it airs on the "off-season".

Anyway, that is why I'm so excited to attend a screening of the season premiere tonight in Boston. Kyra is not going to be there (how cool would that be??), but Tony Denison (who plays one of my favorite detectives on the show), will be. Plus, I'm going with my good friend Michele, so it's also a night out for the mommies!

Stay tuned - I'll post pictures from our trip in tomorrow. : )

This is a photo I took with my cell phone this morning.

Sitting at the light, I noticed the back of this car was filled with items that made me think the driver, or someone in her family, is trying to get into shape. There were two Wii Fits and many, many boxes of Kashi Go Lean Crunch.

I wonder if she's planning on going on Escape 08 and is preparing to put on a bathing suit.

Watching a piece last night on World News with Charles Gibson about superstar athlete and mom, Dara Torres, I was inspired to get on my Wii Fit and start exercising. With her six-pack abs and rock hard arms, the 41 year old athlete looked AMAZING, and I wanted to look the same.

Okay, so maybe I can't do in 30 minutes what takes her 4+ hours each day, but I can pretend. Just play along.

According to the report, one of the things Dara depends on to keep her in shape and limber is a team of full-time personal stretchers who push, pull, shove and stretch her muscles each afternoon. She depends on them so much that she actually travels with them where ever she goes - kinda' like her own fitness entourage I guess.

This morning, as I rolled out bed and felt the tweaks and twinges related to last nights work out I thought, I need my own team of personal stretchers. But, since I'm pretty sure it's not in our budget, I'll have to hope the ice coffee and Tylenol do the trick.

Molly Ringwald is starring in a new series called "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" (premiering tonight on abc family). The series is about a teenager (an American one) who gets pregnant, etc, etc.

In all the news coverage, Molly is referred to as the actress who starred in iconic '80s movies like "Sixteen Candles" and "Pretty Pink." Am I the only one who remembers that she also starred in a movie called "For Keeps?" where she was the pregnant girl struggling with her choices?

I'm actually kind of surprised I haven't seen more reporters make the connection between the two characters. And how, sadly, things haven't changed that much since "For Keeps?" was made 20 years ago (1988).

It is also an unwelcome reminder of how old I'm getting.

To answer the questions:

Why is Sophie's hair pink? Well, the simple answer is... why not! We should all turn our hair pink (or green, or purple, or blue) once in a while.

How did we do it? Using "spiker colorz styling glue" from Joico. I bought a tube of the pink goo from our local Cost Cutters. One tip from the stylist - the stuff is really thick, so if you want to streak it like we did for Sophie, mix a bit in a bowl with mousse, then apply with a paint brush. It washes out pretty easily and the kids love it.

If you, like my college friend, visited our Escape 08 page only to find the trip is "sold out" - fear not. It's not sold out... yet.

As announced, Carnival is applying a fuel upcharge of $27 to all reservations received after today. So, we are taking this time to finalize the current bookings, and regroup, before re-opening our reservation form for the final rooms.

If you are totally bummed you might have missed your chance to register - stay tuned. We will be reopening the system this weekend. All we have left are a limited number of inside cabins (double occupancy), so make your reservation THIS WEEKEND!!! We are confident that the block will be sold out in the next couple of days.

Still looking for a roommate? Log into our Big Tent site and you can connect with other moms looking for a roomie.

And stay tuned. We are already working very hard to line up some fun activities for the Escape!

What, you may be wondering, happened to my husband that caused him to be splayed out on the floor with ice packs applied to his head and his elbow.

When Steve and I were waiting for Anders to get home from his last (half) day of school, we got a little antsy and started running around shooting at each other with our son's Nerf suction cup guns. Knowing that I was cornered in the kitchen, Steve came running into the room and then jumped sideways to shoot me (show off).

Unfortunately, my 6' 1" husband failed to take into account the height of the doorway I was hiding next to and, mid-leap, slammed his head into the top of the door frame, knocking himself to the ground. I was seriously concerned that he might have given himself a concussion!

Two ice packs, Advil and 20 minutes later, he was back in action. But he left the guns in the toy room.

A couple of weeks ago I received a call from Boch Toyota, one of our local dealerships, informing me that we would be taking delivery of our new Toyota Prius sometime during the week of June 16th.

My husband and I were thrilled. That gave us enough time to sell our van (done), secure the financing (done) and insurance (done), but still have it in time for our long trip to Syracuse at the end of the month.

On Father’s Day, when we stopped by the dealership with our deposit and to pick up the paperwork, we were told that it was expected to arrive on Monday, and we may be able to have it as early as Tuesday, June 17th.

Today, Wednesday, June 18th, we haven’t taken delivery on the car and, for some reason, no one seems to be able to tell me where it is, or when we can expect to take delivery.

The trouble with this situation is not the inconvenience of living as a one-car family (we’ve been able to manage with only minor issues), or that we are so impatient that we must have our car NOW and can’t wait a few days.

No, the real trouble is that I feel like we’re living in limbo. With no idea when the car is coming in, or when we’re going to need to be at the dealership to pick it up, I’m having trouble planning our lives. Will I have one car or two on Saturday (when Anders has ANOTHER birthday party and Sophie is supposed to go to the open house at camp)? When do I need to get the check from AAA or the insurance binder from Amica? Are they open on weekends if we need those items on Saturday, or Sunday? What will we do next week when I have several meetings around the state, and possibly only one car?

The other troubling thing is I don’t believe that they don’t know where the car is – at least a rough idea. I can log into UPS.com anytime to find out where my $5 package of socks from Performance Bicycles is, but the people at Toyota don’t know if my $24,000 vehicle is on a boat from China or a truck from New Jersey?

I just don’t buy it. At a dealership where I was told the owner expects all phone calls to be answered in 30 minutes or less, they don’t know where a truck full of cars are?? Plus, when I get vague answers, I get nervous that it’s not coming at all (with waiting lists of up to several months, wouldn’t you be?).

And that’s my other complaint about the whole business. After giving another dealership a $1,000 deposit (refundable) to order a new Prius, they refused to tell us where on the waiting list we were, or a rough estimate on how long it would take for us to receive a car. Seriously, how hard is it to tell me if I’m 3rd, 13th or 30th on the list?

I am still hopeful that we’ll be receiving the car soon, because the waiting is starting to make me crazy.

Have you ever gotten so mad at your husband (your kids, your coworkers, your friends… whatever) that you felt nauseous afterwards?

It doesn’t happen to me often, but this morning I hit the cracking point and felt my head and stomach fill with the kind of rage and bile that, if I was a character in one of those sci-fi super hero movies now, would transform me into a raging green monster bent on destroying all that crosses my path.

And what set off this monumental rage breakdown? My passport. And the kitchen.

I have been asking my husband to help me with the renewal of our passports, and the application of passports for the kids, since my friend Kelly and her family moved to Prague. For those keeping track, that would be almost 1 year ago. Two months ago, frustrated to the point of blindness by the lack of movement on said passports, I downloaded the forms and started filling them out. Immediately, my husband jumped into action (probably out of fear for his life), getting our daughter’s birth certificate and talking about taking the photos.

Did I mention that was two months ago? Now the completed applications are sitting on the counter in our dining room, waiting.

Waiting for what? Well of course you know the answer – waiting for me!

So I had Steve take my picture last night – before running out to re-record last week’s episode of Manic Mommies – then prepared to print out the pictures this morning. Only to have him tell me that I’m smiling too much in the picture so they probably aren’t going to work anyway. (And, oh by the way, why didn’t we just finish dealing with this last night?)

I don’t know if he realizes how close he came to receiving an Epson to the head.

At this point I entered what I can only describe as a rage spiral. Forced to swallow the bitter and angry things I wanted to say (because, let’s face it, I do want to remain married to him, and I didn’t want to scare the children), I proceeded to do the only thing I could do – clean and stew in my own juices.

Everywhere I looked there was something that needed to be cleaned. The kids’ bedrooms, the bathrooms, the living room, the kitchen table (which has been covered coloring supplies for 2 weeks) and… the kitchen.

The kitchen floor was disgusting, covered in dirt and cereal and other unidentifiable bits of crap. It was a veritable feast for the many ants that have begun infesting our kitchen – a problem that my husband choose to solve, not by cleaning the kitchen, but by setting out traps. Little packets of poison that I predict my kids will find and start using as hockey pucks.

I felt like Mount Vesuvius – ready to explode at a moment’s notice (which I did when my husband dared to step into my just-cleaned kitchen wearing his work shoes).

On the train to work this morning I had time to cool off, and reflect on what was making me so angry. Then I remembered a conversation I had with another mom this weekend. She said that in an effort to get her children to understand what it said to her when she found piles of laundry on the floor, or piles of plates in the sink, she placed sticky notes on each item that said “I put this here for my mom to put away.”

And that, I realized this morning, is what was making me so angry. By not helping me with the passports Steve is either saying “I don’t want you going away on the Escape” or “I’m leaving this here for Kristin to deal with.” By not cleaning the kitchen he’s saying “I’m waiting for Kristin to clean this room.” And by leaving out the vacuum for 24 hours (after I asked him to use it in the living room) he’s says “I’m leaving this for Kristin to put away.”

Or, I should say, that’s how I take it.

So now I’m in the down cycle of my rage storm, suffering from my rage hangover and hoping my husband will return my call so I can move on with my day.

I wonder if we have an Excedrin in the kitchen?

On Friday morning my husband and I attended my son’s kindergarten “Authors Tea.” I anticipated that this event would be… boring. What I didn’t anticipate was that time, as I understand it, would cease to exist. That the world would stop rotating on it’s axis and that earth would stand still.

I know I should tell you that watching my child read his story about space was a joyful, heart-warming, life affirming experience. That my husband and I sat, gazing lovingly at our son, basking in the glow of parenting success.

The truth is the event was so-o-o-o-o boring. I believe it may have actually redefined the word boring.

Don’t get me wrong. The stories were funny, and the delivery even better – one kid had a book about his new puppy called “My dog Barley.” It was dedicated to his dog Barley. But when he got to the first page he said…. “I have a dog. His name is….” then looked questioningly at the teacher. Soon the other kids started yelling at him “his name is BARLEY!”

It was also cool to see the kids our son talks about (especially his “girlfriend”) and to meet their parents.

Of course we were a little distracted by our 3 year old daughter who got fed up with sitting around (I know, I know, what were we thinking bringing her??) and our son’s behavior. He wouldn’t sit still, and then when he had to read his book, he was a total goofball – hitting the microphone, making faces and side comments to get the other kids to laugh.

His teacher looked like she was thinking the same thing I was… “Kid, if you hit that microphone one more time, so help me…!”

The whole event took 1.5 hours, but it felt more like 4.

And the worst part? This is just the beginning.

Admit it. One of the things you hate most about the glut of summer birthday parties is figuring out what to buy for a bunch of kids you know by name alone.

If you ask your kid it is very likely he won't know, or will make something up. (I say "he" won't know because I'm assuming that girls, like their grownup counterparts, may actually know what their friends are in to. But I could be wrong).

Wandering the aisles of Target recently, I discovered what is now my "go to" gift for this birthday season –
Chicken Socks books from Klutz.

For this weekend's birthday party marathon I bought two copies of Make Your Own Twinkly Tiara ($12.95), and one copy of Foam Gliders ($9.95). Looking through the site they have a bunch more great kits to choose from, taking care of my birthday party shopping for the rest of the year.

Now if only Dunkin' Donuts made ice coffee by the gallon, so that I can make it through the actual events.

As the mommy-in-charge of our (now) annual Manic Mommies Escape, Erin takes on most of the responsibility (and pressure) of making the Escape happen. She has organized the volunteers, reviewed the proposals, polled our members, and pulled together our registration. She is the one that takes care of the problems.

Last Sunday we opened the registration for our Escape to the Bahamas, and in less than a week registered (and received payments) from over 30 Escapees (woo-hoo). It is this second part, receipt of payment, which has started Erin’s latest problem because, our recent, and unusual, activity has set off alarm bells at PayPal.

Apparently when you receive nearly several thousands of dollars in less than one week, and then don’t ship anything in exchange for these funds, the fraud department at PayPal gets suspicious and shuts down your account.

So there was Erin tonight, when she was supposed to be feeding her children or giving her husband much-wanted attention, on the phone with PayPal tonight trying to explain that we were not a) running a scam, b) funding terrorists, or c) laundering money for the mob.

The good news – after reviewing our site they were not questioning the legitimacy of our organization (seriously? Even I question the legitimacy of our organization some days) – but they were considering holding onto the funds until 30 days before the Escape. This, according to Erin, would be a problem since we need to be make the reservations at the end of this month, not at the end of September. Or, they could refund everyone’s money.

You know how they say “this call may be recorded for training purposes?” Have you ever wondered if you could get a copy of that conversation? This is one of those times – I wish I could have heard this conversation as it happened. I can only imagine how calmly Erin took the news that they may not release the funds or were just going to give it back.

Over an hour later she was able to get the funds released, and the account unlocked, but was warned that if we continued to receive payments at the same rate we have been (one can hope), that we would continue to have trouble with PayPal’s Fraud Department.

Yes, that’s right, Big Brother will be watching.

So, we’re shutting down the online payment portion of our registration form – and asking future registrants to send payments by check.

And Erin? She went to the mall to buy a new pair of shoes with a gift certificate she received for her birthday.

Have fun girlfriend. You deserve it.

My husband and I have intimacy issues - specifically, our kids prevent us from ever getting intimate!

This is totally our fault because we have done a terrible job of establishing clear boundaries between family spaces and parental spaces. In fact, we've practically encouraged the kids to consider our room as their room – allowing them to sleep in our bed, dress in our bathroom and watch their shows on our TV.

But that ends this week because we're kicking the kids out of our bed and reclaiming our space.

First, I've put a stop to the kids' pre-bed ritual of watching television in mommy and daddy's bed, and forced everyone back downstairs.

Second, the kids will bathe in their own bathroom and change in their own bedrooms.

Third, I've moved the gate that used to keep Sophie IN her room to our doorway to keep the kids OUT of our room in the middle of the night.

And finally, just in case we're tempted to slip back into our "old ways" I'm taking the fairly radical stop of removing all the kids programming from the TiVo in our bedroom and loading it up with programs for the parents. Dora and Diego have been replaced by Michael and Fiona; Jack and Mary by Shawn and Juliet; Lenny, Tuck and Ming Ming (too) for Brenda, Grace and PJ. (Did I mention I control the TiVo?)

And now, I'm sitting in my "new" room and I already feel more "relaxed."

Now where is my husband??

Me: Hello?

Teacher: Hi Mrs. Brandt, this is Anders teacher.

Me: (surprised because I had just spoken with her a couple of hours ago) Oh, hello!

Teacher: I’m calling to tell you that Anders and 3 other kids were caught in the playground with their private parts showing.

Me: Really? Was Anders the only one showing his bits?

Teacher: No, they were all doing it.

Me: Was it all boys?

Teacher: No, actually it was three boys and one girl. But she was only showing her underwear.

Me: (not doing a great job of keeping my laughter contained) Oh, well I guess that’s good he wasn’t doing it all by himself.

Teacher: I told the kids that this behavior is not allowed at school, and that all of their parents were going to be very upset.

Me: Isn’t this normal behavior?

Teacher: I think it is, but it’s just not okay these days.

Me: (still snorting) I’ll be sure to talk to him…

-----

Me: Anders, do you have a second?

Anders: Yes momma.

Me: Your teacher just called to tell me what you and your friends were doing in the playground.

Anders (getting sheepish and a little teary): Yes momma. But…

Me: Anders, don’t get upset. Do I sound mad?

Anders: No

Me: Okay, there are two things you need to know – first, you don’t show your private parts to anyone in public. Does your daddy walk around naked?

Anders: Yes...

Me: No he doesn’t! I mean outside! Does he walk around without any pants on outside??

Anders: No

Me: Right. You only show your bits to your parents, your grandparents and your doctor. Got it.

Anders: Got it.

Me: Second rule – if you need to examine yourself, scratch, whatever, you can only do that when you are alone in the privacy of your own room or your bathroom. Got it?

Anders: Got it.

Me: Any questions?

Anders: Can I watch Speed Racer now?

So I recently received the new Wii Fit from Nintendo - and thought you'd like to check out my review (and crazy hula hooping video).

Click here to read all about it.

I'm not too proud to admit it - I read the comics (or funny pages, depending on where you live) everyday.

Most are pretty stupid ("Rose is Rose" is one of my least favorites), too weird (I just don't get "Zippy") or too "intellectual" (I aim to be smart enough to understand "Doonesbury") for me to read.

But every now and then one hits very close to home - making me think the author must be spying on my family. Today it was this strip from For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston.

The funny thing is, I'm pretty sure she wrote this years ago! Which just proves that as much as things change, things also stay the same.

You can check out more of Lynn's work by visiting her web site.

It is 4:55 pm and I should be a work. I should have been there all afternoon, working on client projects, preparing for a presentation next week, drinking a cup of hot chocolate (my version of an afternoon delight) and contemplating how I’m going to scoop Sophie up from school before going to Anders’ t-ball game.

In a few minutes I should be in the car, driving to daycare with the windows open, enjoying the beautiful spring weather. In 30+ minutes I should be sitting on the sidelines of my son’s t-ball game, comfortable in the chair I actually remembered to throw into the back of my car, with Sophie at my side in the chair I remembered to bring for her also.

I should not be where I am, which is in my bed, watching a backlog of shows on my TiVo and nursing my injured… butt.

As many a mom knows, but few talk about, there is one very unfortunate side effect of childbirth. Hemorrhoids. Looking around the world, I wonder how many women have hemorrhoids as a result of pregnancy and childbirth. For many moms, their hemorrhoids may not flare up again for many years – if at all.

For me, my ‘roids flare up a couple of times a year, usually when I’m stressed.

Nice, huh? Some people smoke, others gain weight, and still others drink or take drugs when they are stressed out. Me? I’m forced to lie in bed with a pack of ice on my tush waiting for the swelling to go down.

It’s so humiliating. How do you tell your co-workers and your boss (aka dad) that you have to leave early because you can’t stand to sit any more? That you are so distracted by the pain in your ass – literal, not figurative – that you need to go lie down at home? That you would like to work from home, but don’t know how effective you will be lying in bed with your butt elevated.

And horrifying. No one wants to talk about his or her butt. No one should have to talk about his or her butt. In fact, I prefer not to think of most people as even having butts. Except for my kids – they have very cute, hemorrhoid-free tushies.

So H is for humiliating. Horrifying. Preparation H (my new best friend). Hemorrhoids (a word I can't seem to spell correctly without my spell checker). And House – the television show I’m currently watching.

I wonder what he would do to treat a case like mine.

I just got this from a contact at PBS... What do you think?

"In the next few months, Congress will decide whether to continue supporting Big Bird—or give him the ax. Public broadcasting gets around $400 million annually from the U.S. government, which covers about 15% of local station budgets. (Most shows are funded primarily by producers, viewer donations, private foundations and corporations.) Now the Bush Administration has proposed cutting funding by half.

Those who agree with this decrease say that, with the availability of high-quality cable-TV shows, public TV is unnecessary. Its average nightly audience is 2.1 million—around half of the viewership of pro wrestling. Responds Eric Boehlert, senior fellow at Media Matters, a nonprofit media watchdog group: “PBS is a success story for the government, ranking up there with the national parks. Any cuts would hurt the millions of people who can’t or won’t pay for cable.”

Should tax dollars support PBS? Vote at Parade.com.

This week's show will be delayed by one day, due to technical difficulties. Stay tuned!

With three sets of grandparents, over 10 aunts and uncles, and 8 cousins I've never had what I would consider a small extended family. It certainly wasn't the biggest family around, but not the smallest either.

One thing is for sure - it should be a bigger family. But due to one stupid reasons, or another, my grandparents (my mom's parents) had chosen to disconnect from their families. What that meant was that mom and her four siblings never really knew their aunts and uncles (I believe between them my grandparents had 9 or 10 siblings) or their cousins.

Looking back, I wasn't aware of a lack of extended family, but I now know it is something that has always saddened my mom and her brothers and sisters.

When I began working with a bank in Central Indiana, right near where my grandmother's family had settled, my mom told me if I ever went to visit she was going to tag along. Which is why last week, my mom and I packed up our bags and flew to Indiana for a week.

I was going to work. Mom was going to meet her family.

While I worked, Mom re-connected with her cousins, explored the local cemeteries and met her last living aunt (who she didn't even know was alive before Wednesday!). After work she and I drove by the original family home in Marion, Indiana.

On Friday, I joined in the fun, and discovered that I had been missing something special - my family. In a very large group of strangers (one of mom's cousins has 9 kids!!), I found faces I recognized. People who spoke with the same cadence as my recently deceased grandmother. Cousins of my mother who looked strikingly like my grandmother, or my other aunts. And most amazingly, a group of people who seemed to miss my family, even though most of us had never met.

We left Indiana early on Saturday morning, with more than just great memories - we left, with a much, much bigger family.

And a desire to return to a place that I can now call "home."

This is my mom and her cousins.

Just a small part of my new extended family.

This is my 5 year old son, Anders, making his first phone call to a girl.

Not any girl - the girl. His first real crush.

Clutched in his right hand is the number the girl gave him on the bus home from school. He left a message, which I'm sure was muddled and impossible to understand, and then... he waited.

Every time the phone rang, Anders would run yelling "it's her! she's calling me back!"

Alas, she never called back. I explained to Anders that sometimes, unfortunately, she doesn't call back.

I really didn't expect to be having this conversation with him so soon. Before you know it, we'll have to talk about "you know what."

Recently, a friend and I were talking about the pressure to be “a perfect mom” and how, because of a run in with a well-meaning mommy, she was feeling anything but. Perfect that is.

My initial reaction was to recommend she tell the well-meaning mommy to take her advice on parenting and “go shit in her hat” (an old favorite expression I picked up from my father). Then, I told her my real advice, embrace her newfound status as a mediocre mommy, because here’s something no one wants to admit…

Being a mediocre mommy is way more fun.

When you are a mediocre mommy, people don’t have very high expectations of your or your kids. Gone is the pressure to teach your kids manners, comb their hair or make them wear shoes. Your house doesn’t have to be perfectly clean, because a mediocre mommy doesn’t bother with domestic duties such as vacuuming, washing the floor or folding your laundry. And no one is surprised when you miss a t-ball practice, arrive at the last minute to a school assembly, or never volunteer to help out in the classroom.

With the mom-bar set so low, you have nowhere to go but up. So when you do pull it together to make a batch of Rice Crispie Treats, take your kids out for a day of bicycle riding and Dairy Queen, or organize the perfect birthday party for your daughter, everyone is happy because no one takes these activities for granted. And you can only imagine your husband’s reaction when you actually clean your house and make dinner – that doesn’t involve pre-packed items or breakfast cereal – for the family.

Speaking of reactions – I think that may be the best part of being a mediocre mommy. Watching the reactions of Super Mommies who cross our paths. They cringe when my kids pick up, and eat, the chocolate chip cookie that they dropped in the playground 5 minutes before. I’m sure their fingers twitch to wipe the dirt off my daughter’s cheek or to fix my son's t-shirt (which is on backwards and inside out). And they struggle to keep themselves from dragging the kids out of the jump seat in my station wagon.

Of course you know the truth, don’t you?

It’s not that I didn’t want to be the perfect mom – I’ve just accepted that perfection in motherhood, like in anything, is impossible. Okay, okay. Most of the time, I’ve accepted that I can’t be the perfect mom. But every now and then the cringes, stares and criticisms do hit a little close, and I wonder if I can do better.

Then, I look at my kids.

My kids may not be as clean as others, but they are bug-free and healthy. They might eat an inordinate of breakfast cereal, or pancakes, for dinner, but they are well-nourished and well-fed. They are outgoing, independent and creative. They know how to find their own breakfast and keep themselves amused. And they are, for the most part, polite. But most important, they know they are loved.

So I let the world think I'm a mediocre mommy. And if anyone has something to say about it?

Go shit in your hat.

Dear Erin,

First may I say… you suck. Okay, okay. I’m kidding. It looks like you are having a fabulous time and I’m only the tinniest bit jealous. Then I remind myself that the next two weeks are going to be HELL, and there wasn’t a chance I could have gone to Disney, even if I had been invited.

The photos are gorgeous, and your letter got me thinking – have we considered The Magic Kingdom for Escape 08? Shopping, spas, restaurants and roller coasters – what else could a mom want? Maybe you and Maria can scheme with Michelle and Joyce. Nothing says “happiest place on earth” like drinking a cosmo and watching another parent deal with their kids.

As jealous as I may be about your trip, I’m also happy to say I wouldn’t have missed today for anything (including a carriage ride with Prince Phillip – Can you name that Disney princess movie?).

The weather is gorgeous – sunny and 70’s, it almost feels like summer has arrived. Steve took off early-ish for a bicycle ride (there are a couple points off my daddy-guilt) while I carted the kids, one bicycle, one scooter and one pair of rollerblades to Tercentennial Park in Framingham. It was Sophie’s first time for a “long” distance bicycle ride and she did great! We actually made it around the whole loop without incident, for which the kids were rewarded with time to play at the playground next door.

Then, and you won’t believe this, they actually left the playground – WITHOUT COMPLAINT – so we could go to Trader Joe’s to pick up munchies for my Lia Sophia party tonight (by the way – did I mention that one of the “Real Housewives of NYC” received a pair of Lia Sophia earrings for her birthday?! I’m so hip!). We nearly escaped the store without incident, until Anders popped his balloon getting into the car. To avoid a historic meltdown, I locked the kids in the car and dashed back in to the store to grab another balloon – only to get back to the car and find a mom looking at the kids through the glass suspiciously.

Fingers crossed she understood when she saw my mad dash with the balloon and won’t call DSS.

After lunch the kids rested – again, without complaint (I’m beginning to think they aren’t feeling well) – while I cleaned the house and participated in an audio press conference with Susan Sarandon. Yes, “that” Susan Sarandon! She was promoting her new movie, Speed Racer. I even had a chance to ask her a question, although I nearly missed out because I was 2 feet from the phone going through the kids’ artwork when they called my name. The best part – she loves the name Manic Mommies (how could she not?)!

The weather was so warm this afternoon that we actually put the kids in bathing suits and let them run through the sprinklers. Then, we walked (yes, I know it’s shocking) to Dairy Queen before coming back here for baths, dinner and final prep for my party (for which I have no idea who is coming, and I let Steve go to a hockey game with our neighbor so the kids are going to be floating around).

Anyway, gotta’ fly. Sophie and Anders just took the opportunity while I was writing this to pull out all the Play Doh and smear it on the floor in the living room.

Say hello to everyone for me, and don’t forget to have your picture taken with a pair of Mickey ears on!

- Kristin

One of my colleagues (and a new daddy) sent me this video from our local news. Scared me silly since my kids are VERY heavy sleepers!

Tonight ABC is going to air The Last Lecture, a speech given last year by Randy Pausch, a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University.

For those who are not familiar, Mr. Pausch is a 47-year old father of three who was diagnosed in 2006 with pancreatic cancer and given six months to live. Soon after this diagnosis, he delivered his now infamous last lecture where he talks about enjoying life, accepting his diagnosis, and the lessons he wants to pass on to his young children.

I've seen his story on television, and on the web, but I haven't taken the time to watch the video - which has become an internet phenomenon.

So tonight, at 10 pm, ABC is going to air the video and I've got my TiVo set to record. But I'll be frank, I'm not sure if I want to watch his speech. I don't know if I'm in a place where I want to question my life choices, my motivations, my decisions. I don't know if I want to be inspired to change.

I'm afraid I might be too chicken to watch.

How about you? Will you watch? Why or why not?

And if you do... what did you think?